Monday, June 05, 2006

What a Deal

The U.S. Senate bill is a fantastic way for American taxpayers to make some bucks. Indeed, I can make quite a few bucks thanks to the tax provisions for illegal aliens. You see, under the Senate bill an illegal alien does not have to pay taxes on two of the five years he has an income tax liability.

So here is what I plan to do if the Senate version becomes law. I plan to go to Canada and renounce my American citizenship because the Department of Interior has not made the cockroach an endangered species. Then I'll enter North Dakota and work for a CPA firm (The Canadian border is really very pourous.). There is an extreme shortage of professionals in that state, especially in Fargo (with a low eye-popping unemployment rate of 1.1%). I'll make a deal with a CPA firm. For three years, pay me the minimum wage at 2200 annual billing hours for three years (That comes to $11330 a year, or $33990 for three years.). They can withhold Social Security and state income tax (Yes, North Dakota has an income tax.). My tax liability for those three years would be $313 (based on 2005 tax rates), or $939 for three years. Plus, I'd get a little earned income tax credit as well. What a deal!

For the other two years, which would be the last two years I work, the firm would pay me based on a 1099, or self-employment contract income. They would pay me based on what a CPA tax manager would make. Up North, that would come to $90000 a year (maybe more). For those two years, the firm would pay me $416010 ($90000 x 5 years less $33990.) That would be $208005 per year for those two years. And under the Senate bill, I wouldn't have to pay a penny tax on that $416010!! I'd get my American citizenship, move back to Mississippi and get with another CPA firm. (North Dakota may be a great state, but -60 degrees in the winter ain't toasty.) And I'd have $416010 to stash away in some mutual funds.

As Yakov Smirnoff would say, "America, what a country!"

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